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Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail (and What You Can Do About It)

January 9th, 2008

It is that time of the year, when people are thinking about all the ways they can make this year better than the last. However, while most people call the list of things they would like to change their New Year’s resolutions, for most they would be better labeled as their New Year’s Wish List.

If you are like most people, your New Year’s Resolutions will fail!

Most resolutions fail not because you chose impossible things and not even because you chose too many things; the breakdown is for a reason far more basic and fundamental than that.

Most resolutions fail because most people don’t know what it means to be resolute.

A thing is resolved, when you have made a clear, committed decision on a specific course of action. So the reason why most people’s New Year’s Resolutions fail is that they are lacking at least one of the two key ingredients, either a clear, committed decision or a specific plan of action.

What is a decision?
The best way to think of a decision is it is the moment where you are committed to a single, decisive outcome. Note I said decisive, not divisive. Decisive means that you are not conflicted within yourself about achieving your desired outcome. The reason why most resolutions break down at this point is because while you may want or even need the desired outcome, you live in a house divided against itself.

Examples:
You want to lose weight, but you also want to eat too much pizza.
You want to write a book, but you want to spend most of your free-time watching television.

You cannot win a game where you are scoring as many points for the opponent as you are for yourself. If you are trying to lose weight, each time you overeat or fail to exercise, you are pushing your goal further away from yourself. You cannot be conflicted about what you want, if you want to receive it.

What is a specific plan of action?
If you aren’t lacking in a clear, committed decision, then the other important ingredient is a specific plan of action. If you think of your decision as your outcome, then your specific plan of action is the blueprint which will make your outcome a reality.

A specific plan of action addresses the following things: When will you do it? How often will you do it? What resources will you need? Where will you do it? Who can help keep you accountable? What happens if you don’t do what you said? What rewards will you experience along the way? How will you keep you outcome fresh within your mind and heart? What are your interim deadlines and benchmarks? What will it cost you if you don’t get it done?

Conclusion
Significant change requires significant reflection, commitment, and planning. To transform your resolutions into reality, you have to be able to see a thing true, plan a thing true, and then be a thing true.

A vision without clear actions is imagination, and an imagined outcome is nothing more than a wish. There is nothing wrong with exercising your imagination, but if you are wishing, you have no right to be disappointed or surprised when you fail in your attempts to make your wishes into reality.

Being resolute is being committed, and commitment is the foundation of dreams made real. Commitment is demonstrated in the moment you begin acting upon a decisive plan of action. This year, instead of making a wish list, make a list of things for which you are willing to be decisive about, and for which you are willing to create a day to day plan of action.

Then hold yourself accountable to that list on a daily basis. You should look at your list several times a day, and when you do, remember the rewards of your decision are received each day that you honor your commitment. The outcome is just the ribbon on the gift that you give yourself during your process of change and improvement.

Entry Filed under: Essays/Tips/Lifehacks