If you are like most people, your New Year’s Resolutions will fail!

Most resolutions fail not because you chose impossible things and not even because you chose too many things; the breakdown is for a reason far more basic and fundamental than that.

Most resolutions fail because most people don’t know what it means to be resolute.

A thing is resolved, when you have made a clear, committed decision on a specific course of action. So the reason why most people’s New Year’s Resolutions fail is that they are lacking at least one of the two key ingredients, either a clear, committed decision or a specific plan of action.

What is a decision?
The best way to think of a decision is it is the moment where you are committed to a single, decisive outcome. Note I said decisive, not divisive. Decisive means that you are not conflicted within yourself about achieving your desired outcome. The reason why most resolutions break down at this point is because while you may want or even need the desired outcome, you live in a house divided against itself.

Examples:
You want to lose weight, but you also want to eat too much pizza.
You want to write a book, but you want to spend most of your free-time watching television.

You cannot win a game where you are scoring as many points for the opponent as you are for yourself. If you are trying to lose weight, each time you overeat or fail to exercise, you are pushing your goal further away from yourself. You cannot be conflicted about what you want, if you want to receive it.

What is a specific plan of action?
If you aren’t lacking in a clear, committed decision, then the other important ingredient is a specific plan of action. If you think of your decision as your outcome, then your specific plan of action is the blueprint which will make your outcome a reality.

A specific plan of action addresses the following things: When will you do it? How often will you do it? What resources will you need? Where will you do it? Who can help keep you accountable? What happens if you don’t do what you said? What rewards will you experience along the way? How will you keep you outcome fresh within your mind and heart? What are your interim deadlines and benchmarks? What will it cost you if you don’t get it done?

Conclusion
Significant change requires significant reflection, commitment, and planning. To transform your resolutions into reality, you have to be able to see a thing true, plan a thing true, and then be a thing true.

A vision without clear actions is imagination, and an imagined outcome is nothing more than a wish. There is nothing wrong with exercising your imagination, but if you are wishing, you have no right to be disappointed or surprised when you fail in your attempts to make your wishes into reality.

Being resolute is being committed, and commitment is the foundation of dreams made real. Commitment is demonstrated in the moment you begin acting upon a decisive plan of action. This year, instead of making a wish list, make a list of things for which you are willing to be decisive about, and for which you are willing to create a day to day plan of action.

Then hold yourself accountable to that list on a daily basis. You should look at your list several times a day, and when you do, remember the rewards of your decision are received each day that you honor your commitment. The outcome is just the ribbon on the gift that you give yourself during your process of change and improvement.

Words of love and appreciation are the greatest beauty you will ever share with another person, even if your feelings are clumsily expressed. There is no person who does not benefit from the experience of being appreciated.

Love and the time to express it are the two blessings that are everyone’s birthright, and they are also the greatest gifts that you can share with another. Do not worry about those who do not appreciate your gift or who take your gift for granted, because you are not here to live for the approval of others. You are here to claim your unique place in a chorus of loving appreciation which celebrates all of the blessings of existence.

The greatest legacy you will leave this world are the seeds of love that you plant within the life of another, because if those seeds are nurtured, they will grow and foster an even deeper love and appreciation for life within the heart of those who embrace them.

You must say what must be said each day the moment you feel gratitude or love, because all of the people, places, and things that you encounter deepen the beauty of your life’s experience.

Love and appreciate others fearlessly, passionately, and boldly, saying what must be said, because that is the true purpose for your voice and it is the reason why you exist. Today is the only time that you are guaranteed, so don’t let a moment or a person pass through your life unappreciated.

To whom will you say what must be said today?

I say sacrifice, because when you let any day go by without nurturing and spending time furthering your dream, you are killing previous progress. Let me say that again, you are killing previous progress. You may complain that others are holding you back, because you don’t make enough or are not appreciated enough or loved enough, or whatever your preferred excuse is, but the truth is that the killer of your dream lives within your home.

When you do not love and honor and respect your dream everyday, you are the murderer that is killing it while it sleeps. Your dream is like a baby in that it needs to be nourished, appreciated, loved, tended to. You must give your dream constant daily attention. Like a baby, if you do not spend time with your dream everyday, it will fail to thrive, and if you ignore it long enough, it may die. Life is already filled with too many doubters, haters, and challenges that would kill your dream; you cannot allow yourself to be part of the problem.

Today is the day you need to make a decision; you need to snap out of the deadly routine that is your life, because your dream is a matter of life and death. Your day to day actions either create life or reap death; your time is either spent constructively or it is squandered destructively.

Let me ask you again….Are you an everyday achiever?

Why not?

Is your dream not big enough?

Is it not important enough?

Do you have a dream or do you have a wish?

No one is guaranteed the next breath, let alone another day, so what part of you thinks that it is ok to let a day go without spending time with your dream? You have got to love your dream. You have got to touch your dream. You have got to see your dream. Your connection to your dream is only as strong as the last action you took to move it forward, and if action isn’t taken everyday, then you don’t want it enough.

I don’t care how busy you are. I don’t care how much you work. If you can’t make 15 minutes for your dream a day, then you are not worthy of your dream. It probably isn’t your dream; it is just something you think you should do or something you think it would be neat to do. Your dream is something you have to be willing to die striving to achieve, because you might.

Your life could end at any time and aside from loving other people, pursuing your dream will be the greatest work you will ever do. Your life is like currency that must be used or lost each day. Are you investing your time to make your dream come true, or are you using your time doing activities that will keep you where you are.

Each day you have less life within you, so each day we are sacrificing our lives to what we do. Is your dream worth dedicating your life to? If you said yes, then prove it. Every day, you must do a least one thing to advance your dream. I you are really passionate, you must do several things.

This essay and this moment is your gut check; do you have a dream or just a really pretty story to tell yourself and others?

Someday isn’t on my calendar, and tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. Your power resides in today, which is the one day you don’t need a calendar for because you are living it right now.

So let me ask you one last time…Are you everyday achiever? (Hint…if your dream matters, the answer must be yes)

If you can still say no, then you just don’t want it bad enough.

You are good enough.

You are valuable beyond measure.

You can achieve your dreams.

You are beautiful.

Each morning is an opportunity to be more than you ever have been before.

Each moment is another opportunity to take more steps towards the person you would be.

You determine your attitude; you and only you.

When you are clear on your purpose, you will see strengths within yourself and others that you never have before.

I believe in you. I believe in your dream.

Go forth and shine.

p.s. Please take a moment and really appreciate each one of these observations, because they are who you really are. You are not your fears. You are not your doubts. You are beauty and love, but until you embrace these truths, you will not be able to see the truth that lies within your mirror.

p.s. If you are feeling really bold, also tell that person you love them.
p.s.s. When in doubt be bold.

The fear and discomfort created by new ideas is illustrated in part by the fact that most people don’t finish more than a couple of books a year and that the average American watches more than 4 hours of television a day. You need to accept today that your current comfort level will never result in more than you have right now. In order for your life to change you must grow, and in order to grow you must be willing to both embrace new ideas and sacrifice your current comfort level.

Once you can accept that new ideas are the key to discovering a new you, one great way to be exposed to new people, speakers, and ideas is at a motivational or inspirational conference. At such conferences, I have not only been introduced to new ways of thinking and being, but I have met people who are living examples of the benefits of acting upon them. I have met people who are actively creating the change that will transform the nature of our world for the better.

Some of the benefits of motivational and inspirational events are 1) they give you the opportunity to spend some time with people pursuing personal development, 2) the exposure to new ideas, 3) a break from the routine of your life, 4) the opportunity to reflect upon your life’s vision and your priorities, 5) the time and support to plan the next steps in your journey, 6) the opportunity to hear about the challenges that other’s had to overcame in the pursuit of their dreams, and 7) the opportunity to connect with a few select like-minded people with whom you can stay in contact with after the event is over.

There are many more benefits, but the one’s listed above are enough to make it worthwhile for you to commit to attend at least one event a year for the rest of your life. Conferences give you a great opportunity to meet people who can support you in your pursuits by becoming a part of your team and provide ongoing accountability and ideas as you continue to learn and grow.

I have committed to and do attend at least two conferences a year, and I can tell you that the experiences, people, and the ideas I have been exposed to, have proven invaluable to me and that I am a drastically improved person for having had the experiences.

If you really want to change your life, the questions you have to ask yourself are: What am I willing to do that I have never done before? How much is too much to invest in my future? How much will it cost me if I don’t fulfill my dreams? How much does being where I am cost you? How will I feel if I am in the same place 10 years from now?

We can choose to learn from the experience, blame another for our circumstance, complain about how stuck we are, or use the moment as further proof of how broken or dysfunctional we are. However, the one thing that we all know to be true (if we are honest with ourselves) is that you never get a positive by dwelling in a negative reaction.

So instead of wasting another moment of your life in a pattern of blame, fault, or low self-esteem, start looking at challenges as your opportunity to learn to become more than you already are. If the knowledge and/or beliefs you currently have is not enough to overcome or avoid the recurrence of undesirable situations, then become a new you by learning some new ideas.

Examples:
If you find yourself continuing to have financial difficulties, then maybe you need to start increasing your education in financial matters by reading a book, listening to a podcast, or watching a dvd.

If you are already good at managing your finances, but you need to make more money, then maybe you need to increase your skills related to your job.

If you find that you are great at doing your job, but have poor communication skills, then maybe you should take up public speaking.

Recognize that as you move through life, every lasting and meaningful change you desire requires you to learn and be more than you were before. If who you are were enough to become who you would be, you would already be there. That is not to say that you need to drastically change your beliefs or skills, but it does mean that until you are where you would be, something probably needs to change.

Also, do not take this as a license to be unhappy where you are. You can enjoy where you are, and also have a goal of where you would be. When you go to an amusement park, you can enjoy the bumper cars first and then move on to the rollercoaster without having been unhappy at any point during the trip. You do not have to choose liking one over the other, because you began your trip with the intention to enjoy both, and then you acted accordingly.

Life works the same way. Where you are can always be beautiful if you recognize the beauty within yourself. However, your current moment will never be so beautiful that you cannot also carry within your heart a vision of even greater beauty. It is this vision of greater beauty that many call one’s purpose. In order to pursue one’s purpose, a fundamental truth in life is that all lasting change and success is the outcome of a never ending process of growth, so enjoy who you are and where you are during every step of your journey, but remain mindful that you must also continue to change and grow.

That being said, the challenge that I put before you today (and for the rest of your life, if you so choose) is to dedicate at least 15 minutes a day, each day to read or listen to something or someone that educates, motivates, and inspires you. If you find that you are really enjoying this on a given day, you can spend more time (just watch less tv), but right now I want your firm commitment to 15 minutes more than an uncommitted wish to do more each day.

As you alone define the path that you would follow, you must choose the nature of the material you will learn; but I suggest that you pick material prepared by people who has earned your trust and for whom you have respect. You should also pick people who challenge and encourage you to stretch your current beliefs, so that you can become the best you possible.

As always, if you choose to participate, please comment and let me know what you have done.

Wake up! Life is waiting for you.

Mario

So to honor of this rarest of gifts, you should pick at least one action a day which if it was to be your last action on this planet, you would still think of it as time well spent. Only you know what truly matters to you, but each day make sure you do something worthy of the gift of life.

Examples:
• expressing sincere thanks to someone for the gift of their time
• giving of your time or money to a charity
• planning a special evening for someone you love
• supporting someone in their time of need

What you do may change from day to day, but the habit of identifying one must do action will become a part of the foundation of your enjoying life everyday. Awakening to another day of life is a precious gift that none of us should take for granted, so from this day forward, make the commitment to make every day count…because every day does.

Today’s dare to change challenge is about deciding one thing that you are going to say no to for the rest of the year. Pick one habit or action that you currently do that you know is diminishing the quality of your life, and then commit to not doing that thing for the rest of the year.

This is not a resolution, because you don’t follow up on those. I want an iron clad commitment; a commitment to something that you will not do no matter what, because you know that the improvement of the quality of your life is the reward of your success.

Examples: You can choose to not eat after 9pm, or cut back to one glass of wine a night instead of three. It can be the choice to watch one less hour of television per night, or learning to say no to someone who takes your time or your kindness for granted.

What you choose is not nearly as important as making the firm commitment to stick to your commitment to yourself no matter what. Keeping your word to yourself regarding that which matters is the foundation of self confidence, and self confidence is the engine that will transform your life for the better for each day that you live.

If you are going to make this commitment with me, please post a comment indicating what you are going to say no to for the rest of the year. Then each morning get up and remind yourself what your ‘til the end of the year no” is, and why it is so important to you.

As you have never been perfect in the past, you will slip somewhere along the way, but unlike the past you are not going to dwell in your failure, but instead dust yourself off, and get your head and your heart back into your plan. Don’t give up, or plan to restart on Monday or tomorrow.

When you do slip (not if), I want you to either post a comment or email me, and let me know that you slipped and that you are recommitting in that moment to do better from that point forward.

That being said, I choose to forgo pizza for the rest of the year, no matter what, because right now I am working on improving my physical fitness. What are you willing to say no to? Remember just pick one, because I don’t want a wish list. I want to know what you must and will get done.

The Dare to Change Challenge is your opportunity to be coached through a change that you have been putting off. The goal of the Challenge is to create change through small incremental steps, so that at no one can have the excuse that they do not have enough time.

The Challenge: Improve your environment (by 1% or in 5-10 minutes; whichever comes first)

As you look around the room you are currently in, what distracts you? What do you look at and feel bad about? What do you complain about? It can be something that you know you (or a loved one) should clean up, or something you have been meaning to organize, donate, recycle, or get rid of. What is something you can do to make your environment feel 1% better than it does right now? What is something you can do within 5 to 10 minutes that will make the room feel less cluttered, and therefore more relaxing?

Once you have identified something that can be done, do it. Don’t listen to your inner voice that says, “That isn’t enough.” or “You should do more” or “I’ll do it on the weekend”. Most people spend more time thinking change than being change, and here is where you listen to your inner nag, and thank him or her for the lovely feedback, and then get started anyway.

Whatever you choose to do is probably more than you have often done, so get over the need for contemplating completion or perfection and get more accustomed to acting. Changing and improving the quality of your life is a process that is accomplished in fits and starts, so you might as well get started improving your experience today.

By improving the quality of your day-to-day life experience on a consistent basis, you will be better able to focus on the things that you want, because you will have fewer things to focus upon that you do not. Like a race, a well-lived life will always have a clear goal in sight, but once that goal is identified, the true master focuses on the individual steps that will get you there.

Once you identify your action, and have done it, please post a comment on the blog and tell me what you have done. You deserve recognition as well as accountability, and I want to help provide both.