Usually that which we need to change about ourselves, is those parts that we are most afraid to confront. In seeking change we often have to confront the demons that our life experience and fear have blown so out of proportion that it distorts our sense of reality. Contrary to what most people try to tell you, meaningful change often causes pain and problems.
Change is hard, but it is worth it.
Change is a pain that must be embraced, because it is a force that will continue to influence your life as you passionately pursue your fulfillment. If you have any doubts to that, just envision your life staying exactly the way it is forever. How does that work for you?
After what may be a lifetime (or at least seems like one) of being pained by that which limits you, the idea of adding another moment of pain can be overwhelming for many. However, the quality of the pain experienced from life affirming change is not the same as the pain of avoidance and fear.
The pain caused by change is the agony of rebirth, caused by the shedding who you were, so that you can emerge reborn. It is the pain caused by the breaking of long established habits and associations that limited you. Change is a transitory pain that opens your heart, mind, and soul to the pleasures that were denied you for so long.
Exercise
Please take a moment today to think of something you would like to change about yourself. It doesn’t have to be huge and life altering. It can be something as simple as not going to bed without washing the dishes. Then resolve yourself to try to do that knowing that you are on the path to changing from who you are, to who you wish to be. If you can’t face the idea of doing them all at first, just wash one, and then go to bed. The next day maybe wash two. The next day maybe wash four.
If you have read this blog more than once, you know that we eat our elephants one bite at a time. So take that first step. I don’t care how little it is. You need victories, because those will provide the energy to take the next step. Keep building upon the last step each day, and you will continue to make progress.
Don’t be negative in judging the quality of your progress, an accomplishment is an accomplishment, no matter how small it may be. In time you will find that you will want to do more naturally, and your small steps will get broader and more certain, but for now start with small, regular steps. I would rather you make small steps over the rest of your life, than have brief flashes of forgettable intensity.
Summary
What stops many people from accomplishing change is “all or nothing thinking”, where they decide that if I cannot get it all done at once, then “it isn’t worth doing” or “I’ll get it done when the time is right”. If you stay trapped in the habit of thinking that way, you are going to feel overwhelmed a lot of the time, and much of what you want to accomplish will not get done. Remember any journey starts with a step, and each step gets you closer to your goal.
January 29th, 2006
The greatest threat to you accomplishing change is you. How we think of ourselves, is who we become, if we believe it strongly enough. That is good when we think positively, but when we are negative, the results can be devastating. So the best gift you can give yourself if you are dissatisfied with your life is to realize…
You are not who you think you are
Dissatisfaction can take many forms from “I am not good enough” to “I just can’t”, but they are all falsehoods based in some negative experience from your past. I can tell you that I know that you are not any of those things, just from the simple fact that you are reading this article. (I also know you are a good person, because most villains don’t visit self-help websites 
).
In reading this article you are showing that you want more from yourself..maybe even that you are starting to expect more from yourself. And that is not the mindset or actions of “not good enough” or “just can’t”. In taking the action to find sources of inspiration, you are showing that whatever you may have been is not who you are. You are evolving.
Be where you are…then move
Stop judging yourself in relation to where you want to be, and claim a victory where you are. Do something you can be proud of…give help to someone who needs it, clean something you have been putting off, tell someone you care about you love them, do your taxes (hey an accomplishment is an accomplishment). Then allow yourself to recognize the good in what you have done, and allow yourself to smile (you remember how don’t you?). Then having done something to affirm the person you are, take another step. Don’t ever judge a step with “I should have done more” or “I was supposed to do it anyway”. Don’t belittle your accomplishments. Doing is the spice of life, and making the choice to act is worthy of recognition, as it is a choice not everyone makes.
Why you should eat elephants
One of my favorite jokes is the one, “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is, “one bite at a time”. With that in mind, I encourage you even if you are a vegetarian to start eating elephants. Ok, before PETA gets pissed let me explain what I mean.
Life is a series of challenges in which you generally have more things to do than time to do them. In thinking of your tasks as pieces of an elephant you need to eat, you never allow the sheer volume of things you need to do overwhelm you. To eat an elephant in one bite is impossible, but as bite sized nuggets (with horseradish), an elephant can be eaten (and is quite delicious).
Wakeuplife.org is my invitation for you to join me at the table, so that we can eat our elephants, and move forward in this journey that is life. I really do hope to see you sitting near me, as elephant tastes even better with good company.
Conclusion
So stop putting yourself down, and leave behind your language of failure. Take a step today, and add another step tomorrow. Every day is a new day with the possibility of great change, but all change starts with a step. Remember life is a marathon, not a sprint, and each step gets you closer to your goal.
January 25th, 2006